Know you that your old enemy altogether striveth to hinder your pursuit after good, and to deter you from every godly exercise, to wit, the contemplation of the Saints, the pious remembrance of My passion, the profitable recollection of sin, the keeping of your own heart, and the steadfast purpose to grow in virtue.
He suggesteth to you many evil thoughts, that he may work in you weariness and terror, and so draw you away from prayer and holy reading. Humble confession displeaseth him, and if he were able he would make you to cease from Communion.
Believe him not, nor heed him, though many a time he has laid for you the snares of deceit. Account it to be from him, when he suggesteth evil and unclean thoughts. Say unto him, "Depart unclean spirit; put on shame, miserable one. Depart from me, detestable deceiver; you shall have no part in me; but Jesus shall be with me, as a strong warrior, and you shall stand confounded."
"The Lord is my light and my salvation: whom then shall I fear? Though a host of men should rise up against me, yet shall not my heart be afraid. The Lord is my strength and my Redeemer."
First time in my life I understand what the profitable recollection of sin is. It is very profitable — it guides me to know that the Lord is my salvation and my strength. It makes me bold against the enemy to say "Depart."
✦ The Profitable Recollection
Fourteen days of Kempis — and today he names the enemy by name and teaches the soul to fight. The old enemy strives to hinder every godly exercise — contemplation, remembrance, confession, the keeping of the heart. He works weariness and terror. He suggests evil thoughts. He lays snares. And Kempis says: believe him not.
But the revelation this morning is not the battle itself — it is one phrase buried in the list of things the enemy seeks to destroy: the profitable recollection of sin. Profitable. Not the guilty recollection. Not the shaming recollection. Not the recollection that crushes the soul under the weight of what was done. The profitable one. The recollection that looks at what was forgiven and sees — not the sin, but the Savior. Not the debt, but the One who paid it.
The enemy wants the recollection of sin to produce shame and paralysis. God wants it to produce boldness. The same memory — two completely different uses. The enemy says: look what you did. God says: look what I forgave. And the 500 denari soul who sees the forgiveness instead of the failure stands up and speaks: depart, unclean spirit. Jesus shall be with me as a strong warrior, and you shall stand confounded.
Psalm 27:1 — the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom then shall I fear? The soul that has profitably recollected her sin knows exactly who saved her. And that knowledge is not shame. It is armor. 🙏
Strive you like a good soldier; and if sometimes you fail through weakness, put on your strength more bravely than before, trusting in My more abundant grace, and take you much heed of vain confidence and pride.
Because of it many are led into error, and sometimes fall into blindness well-nigh irremediable. Let this ruin of the proud, who foolishly lift themselves up, be to you for a warning and a continual exhortation to humility.
I am a soldier in the army of God, so grateful for Kempis's edification.
✦ More Bravely Than Before
If sometimes you fail through weakness, put on your strength more bravely than before. Not the same bravely. More bravely. Each failure is not a demotion. It is the occasion for a greater bravery. The soldier who falls and rises fights harder than the one who never fell — because she knows two things the unfallen soldier does not: how weak she is, and how abundant His grace is.
Trusting in My more abundant grace. Romans 5:20 — where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. The grace grows more abundant as the failures increase. Not because the failures are good, but because the grace is greater than all of them. The 500 denari debt was larger than the 50. And the love that flowed from the larger forgiveness was deeper than anything the smaller debtor could imagine.
But the warning follows immediately: take much heed of vain confidence and pride. The promotions are real. The boldness is real. The bravery is real. But the moment the soldier says I am strong instead of He is my strength — that is the blindness. The ruin of the proud. Kempis gives the sword and the warning in the same breath — because the promoted soul is in the greatest danger of all: the danger of forgetting who promoted her. 🙏
"My Son, it is better and safer for you to hide the grace of devotion, and not to lift yourself up on high, nor to speak much thereof, nor to value it greatly; but rather to despise yourself, and to fear as though this grace were given to one unworthy thereof.
Nor must you depend too much upon this feeling, for it can very quickly be turned into its opposite. Think when you are in a state of grace how miserable and poor you are wont to be without grace.
A warning against being proud of our grace to a point where we forget who gave it to you in the first place.
But I praise God too, when grace was gone. That is the only way to die to self and become a new creature.
✦ I Praise God Too, When Grace Was Gone
Kempis says: hide the grace. Do not lift yourself up. Remember how miserable you are without it. The grace is given to one unworthy — and the remembering of the unworthiness is what keeps the grace safe. The soul that forgets her poverty has already begun to lose what was given.
But the morning went deeper than the warning. I praise God too, when grace was gone. This is not what Kempis taught. This is what the Spirit taught. Kempis said: remember how poor you are without grace. Le said: yes — and I praise Him in that poverty. The praise that flows when the feeling is gone is the purest praise there is — because it flows from faith, not from feeling. It flows from decision, not from emotion. It is the sacrifice of praise. Hebrews 13:15 — the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.
And the dying to self — that is the only way to become a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:17. The new creation requires the death of the old one. And the death happens precisely where grace withdraws and the soul praises anyway. Not because she feels like it. Because she knows Whose she is — feeling or no feeling, grace present or grace withdrawn, He is still God, and she is still His. 🙏
Therefore let not strange fancies disturb you, whencesoever they arise. Bravely observe your purpose and your upright intentions towards God.
It is not an illusion when you are sometimes suddenly carried away into rapture, and then suddenly art brought back to the wonted vanities of your heart. For you do rather unwillingly undergo them than cause them; and so long as they displease you and you strivest against them, it is a merit and no loss.
✦ A Merit and No Loss
Bravely. Not patiently. Not resignedly. Bravely observe your purpose. The rapture is real — the morning before dawn, the burning heart, the closeness to God. And the fall back to the vanities is also real. Both are real. But you undergo them unwillingly. You did not cause them. You did not invite them. And so long as they displease you and you strive against them — it is a merit and no loss.
The striving is the merit. The resistance is the virtue. The battle is the badge of rank. Bravely, not cowardly. 🙏
For there are many who, when things have not gone prosperous with them, become forthwith impatient or slothful. For the way of a man is not in himself, but it is God's to give and to console, when He will, and as much as He will, and whom He will, as it shall please Him, and no further.
Some who were presumptuous because of the grace of devotion within them, have destroyed themselves, because they would do more than they were able, not considering the measure of their own littleness, but rather following the impulse of the heart than the judgment of the reason.
They became poor and were left vile, who had built for themselves their nest in heaven; so that being humbled and stricken with poverty, they might learn not to fly with their own wings, but to put their trust under My feathers.
They who are as yet new and unskilled in the way of the Lord, unless they rule themselves after the counsel of the wise, may easily be deceived and led away.
I lost my grace feeling when I had two operations and watched my husband suffer with the weight of my illness. Our lives were tested to the extreme and God saved us. I learned to never take grace for granted.
✦ Not My Wings — His Feathers
Kempis describes the soul that built her nest in heaven — presumptuous, confident in the grace of devotion, doing more than she was able. And when the grace withdrew — she became poor and was left vile. The nest she built for herself collapsed. The wings she trusted were her own. And they were not enough.
But the poverty was not the punishment. It was the lesson. Learn not to fly with your own wings, but to put your trust under My feathers. Psalm 91:4 — He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge. The nest the soul builds for herself in heaven is presumption. The shelter under His feathers is trust. One is the soul flying on her own. The other is the soul resting under His wings. The operations taught the difference.
And the testimony stands as the living proof of the passage. Two operations. A husband who carried the weight of her illness. Lives tested to the extreme. And God saved them. The grace feeling left — but grace itself never did. The feeling is the visitor. Grace is the resident. And the lesson carved into that season of suffering — never take grace for granted — is the lesson Kempis has been teaching for fourteen days.
The nest in heaven was beautiful while it lasted. But the feathers of God are stronger than any nest the soul can build. The wings of the proud carry the soul to a height from which she falls. The feathers of God carry the soul to a place from which she cannot fall — because she is not flying. She is resting. Under His wings. Under His feathers. Covered. Sheltered. Saved.
Not my wings. His feathers. 🙏
"Learn not to fly with your own wings, but to put your trust under My feathers."
Thomas à Kempis · The Imitation of Christ · The lesson of fourteen daysThe Profitable Recollection
The recollection of sin that produces boldness, not shame. The enemy says: look what you did. God says: look what I forgave. That knowledge is not shame — it is armor.
More Bravely Than Before
If you fail, put on strength more bravely. Each failure is the occasion for greater bravery — trusting in His more abundant grace. But take heed of vain confidence and pride.
Praise When Grace Is Gone
The purest praise flows when the feeling is absent — from faith, not feeling. The dying to self happens where grace withdraws and the soul praises anyway. The new creature rises there.
Not My Wings — His Feathers
The nest built in heaven is presumption. The shelter under His feathers is trust. The soul that rests under His wings cannot fall — because she is not flying. She is resting.