"My Son, lose yourself and you shall find Me. Stand still without all choosing and all thought of self, and you shall ever be a gainer. For more grace shall be added to you, as soon as you resignest yourself, and so long as you do not turn back to take yourself again."
O Lord, how often shall I resign myself, and in what things shall I lose myself?
"Always; every hour: in that which is little, and in that which is great. I make no exception, but will that you be found naked in all things. Otherwise how can you be Mine and I yours, unless you be inwardly and outwardly free from every will of your own? The sooner you do this, the better shall it be with you; and the more fully and sincerely, the more you shall please Me, and the more abundantly shall you be rewarded.
My to-do list is less concerning with abandonment of self. God knows things will be done right. Abandonment doesn't mean sloppiness.
The diligent tends to plenty. Lord, help me stay diligent.
Lose yourself and you shall find Me. The same truth from day sixteen: by loving myself amiss, I lost myself; by loving You alone, I found both myself and You. But today the instruction is sharper: always. Every hour. In little and in great. No exceptions. No days off. No categories exempt. The resignation is total — not partial, not selective, not "in the spiritual things but not the packing."
And Le's note is the most practical word on self-abandonment the journal has recorded: abandonment doesn't mean sloppiness. The world hears "lose yourself" and imagines chaos — the boxes unpacked, the cables in a heap, the to-do list abandoned. Le hears it and says: no. God knows things will be done right. The abandonment is of the anxiety, not the excellence. The to-do list is less concerning — not because it disappears, but because the self is no longer gripping it with white knuckles.
Proverbs 21:5 — the diligent tends to plenty. The diligence is not self-reliance. It is the daily showing up. The daily resignation. The daily sacrifice. The diligent soul is the abandoned soul who still does excellent work — because the excellence comes from the resignation, not from the gripping.
Some resign themselves, but with certain reservations, for they do not fully trust in God, therefore they think that they have some provision to make for themselves.
Some again at first offer everything; but afterwards being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices, and thus make no progress in virtue.
They will not attain to the true liberty of a pure heart, nor to the grace of My sweet companionship, unless they first entirely resign themselves and daily offer themselves up as a sacrifice; without this the union which brings forth fruit stands not nor will stand.
Kempis names the two failures of resignation, and both are quieter than the soul expects.
The first: some resign themselves, but with certain reservations. They give most of it — but keep a corner. A backup plan. A provision just in case God doesn't come through. The reservation is the crack in the wall. And the crack is enough to let the old self back in.
The second: some at first offer everything, but afterwards being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices. The full surrender — followed by the quiet retrieval. The hand that gave it all and then reached back into the offering plate when the pressure came. On packing day eight, this is the soul that says Your will be done in the morning and then grips the to-do list with white knuckles by noon.
And the remedy is not a single grand gesture. It is the daily sacrifice. Unless they daily offer themselves up as a sacrifice. Daily. Not once. Every morning. Every hour. The resignation renewed — not because it failed, but because it must be fresh. Like the manna. Like the Fountain. The union that brings forth fruit requires the daily offering. The daily losing of the self. The daily finding of God.
"Lose yourself and you shall find Me. Always; every hour: in that which is little, and in that which is great."
Thomas à Kempis · Caldas da Rainha · Thirty-nine days · Abandonment is not sloppinessAlways, Every Hour
In little and in great. No exceptions. Inwardly and outwardly free from every will of your own. The resignation is total — not partial, not selective. The sooner, the better.
Not Sloppiness
Abandonment doesn't mean chaos. God knows things will be done right. The to-do list is less concerning — not because it disappears, but because the soul no longer grips it with white knuckles.
The Reservation
The soul that gives most but keeps a corner. A backup plan. A provision just in case. The crack in the wall is enough to let the old self back in.
The Daily Sacrifice
Not a single grand gesture — the daily offering. The resignation renewed every morning. The union that bears fruit requires fresh surrender. Like the manna. Like the Fountain.