"My Son, lose yourself and you shall find Me. Stand still without all choosing and all thought of self, and you shall ever be a gainer. For more grace shall be added to you, as soon as you resign yourself, and so long as you do not turn back to take yourself again."
O Lord, how often shall I resign myself, and in what things shall I lose myself?
"Always; every hour: in that which is little, and in that which is great. I make no exception, but will that you be found naked in all things. Otherwise how can you be Mine and I yours, unless you be inwardly and outwardly free from every will of your own?"
We are tempted not to resign ourselves and take matters into our own hands, but when you do, there is a clear disconnect. You quickly find out that self-will is nothing but a nowhere road.
Le named what self-will actually produces: a nowhere road. Not a wrong road. Not a dangerous road. A nowhere road. It goes. It moves. It feels like progress. But it arrives nowhere. The soul walks and walks and finds herself exactly where she started — because the road was never going anywhere. Only the road of resignation leads somewhere.
How often shall I resign myself? And the answer leaves no room: always. Every hour. In little and in great. No exception. No reservation. No holding back. The soul must be found naked in all things — inwardly and outwardly free from every will of her own.
"Some resign themselves, but with certain reservations, for they do not fully trust in God, therefore they think that they have some provision to make for themselves. Some again at first offer everything; but afterwards being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices, and thus make no progress in virtue.
They will not attain to the true liberty of a pure heart, nor to the grace of My sweet companionship, unless they first entirely resign themselves and daily offer themselves up as a sacrifice; without this the union which brings forth fruit stands not nor will stand.
The half-resignation is the most common failure in the Christian life. Some resign themselves but with certain reservations. The reservation is the leash. The soul that resigns with conditions says: I trust You, Lord — mostly. I surrender everything — except this one thing. And Kempis says: that reservation is why the progress stops.
At first they offer everything, but being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices. The offering was sincere. The temptation was real. And the return to self-will was the nowhere road — walking back to exactly where they started.
"Give yourself up, resign yourself, and you shall have great inward peace. Give all for all; demand nothing, ask nothing in return; stand simply and with no hesitation in Me, and you shall possess Me.
You shall have liberty of heart, and the darkness shall not overwhelm you. For this strive you, pray for it, long after it, that you may be delivered from all possession of yourself, and nakedly follow Jesus who was made naked for you; may die unto yourself and live eternally to Me.
Then shall all vain fancies disappear, all evil disturbing, and superfluous cares. Then also shall immoderate fear depart from you, and inordinate love shall die."
Le marked this: the benefit of true freedom of heart. Kempis lists what departs when the resignation is complete: vain fancies disappear. Evil disturbings cease. Superfluous cares end. Immoderate fear departs. Inordinate love dies. Not by fighting them — by resigning. The surrender does what the striving could not.
Nakedly follow Jesus who was made naked for you. The image is the cross. Jesus stripped of everything — for the soul. And the soul's response: be stripped in return. Not as punishment. As freedom.
"My Son, for this you must diligently make your endeavor, that in every place and outward action or occupation you may be free within, and have power over yourself; and that all things be under you, not you under them; that you be master and ruler of your actions, not a slave or hireling, but rather a free and true Hebrew, entering into the lot and the liberty of the children of God,
who stand above the present and look upon the eternal, who with the left eye behold things transitory, and with the right things heavenly; whom temporal things draw not to cleave unto, but who rather draw temporal things to do them good service."
Free within, master and ruler of your actions, not a slave. Not to compromise my freedom, no matter what.
Kempis adds a new image: with the left eye behold things transitory, and with the right things heavenly. Both eyes open. Both seeing. The left handles the packing. The right sees what God is doing through it. Both working. The gaze undivided.
Le's closing word holds the entire morning: not to compromise my freedom, no matter what. Seven words. Thirty-eight days of Kempis. The whole Imitation in one sentence. No reservations. No conditions. No nowhere roads. Freedom — uncompromised.
"And if in any chance of life you stand not in outward appearances, but straightway in every cause enter with Moses into the tabernacle to ask counsel of God; you shall hear a divine response and come forth instructed concerning many things that are and shall be.
For always Moses had recourse to the tabernacle for the solving of all doubts and questionings; and fled to the help of prayer to be delivered from the dangers and evil deeds of men.
For this cause we read that Joshua and the children of Israel were deceived by the Gibeonites, that they asked not counsel at the mouth of the Lord, but being too ready to listen to fair speeches, were deceived by pretended piety."
Moses again. The same Moses who had a staff, not a wand. The same Moses who needed Aaron and Hur. And now — Moses entering the tabernacle. Always Moses had recourse to the tabernacle. Not sometimes. Always.
And the warning: Joshua was deceived because he asked not counsel at the mouth of the Lord. The Gibeonites came with fair speeches and Israel believed them — because they looked at the outward appearance instead of entering the tabernacle. The counsel was available. They just didn't ask.
"Self-will is nothing but a nowhere road. Not to compromise my freedom — no matter what."
Le's Heart · Caldas da Rainha · Thirty-eight days with Kempis · Give all for allThe Nowhere Road
Self-will goes, moves, feels like progress — but arrives nowhere. Only the road of resignation leads somewhere. Always. Every hour. No exception.
The Leash of Reservation
Some resign with conditions. The reservation is the leash. The progress stops. Without entire resignation, the union that bears fruit does not stand.
Free Within
Master and ruler, not slave. Left eye on the transitory, right on the heavenly. Both open. The boxes serve Le. Le does not serve the boxes.
Enter the Tabernacle
Moses always had recourse to the tabernacle. Joshua forgot and was deceived. The counsel is available. The question is whether the soul enters.