"My Son, beware you dispute not of high matters and of the hidden judgments of God. These things pass all man's power of judging.
Answer with that word of the Prophet, Just art You, O Lord, and true is Your judgment.
My judgments are to be feared, not to be disputed on, because they are incomprehensible to human understanding.
Why this man afflicted and that man exalted? The mind wants the answer. Kempis says: the answer is not for you. The judgments are incomprehensible — not because God is hiding them, but because human understanding is too small to hold them. And the response is not silence but worship: Just art You, O Lord. The soul that cannot understand the judgment can still trust the Judge.
"I am He Who made all the Saints: I gave them grace, I brought them glory; I know the merits of every one.
I foreknew my beloved ones from everlasting, I chose them out of the world; they did not choose Me.
I called them by My grace, drew them by My mercy, led them on through sundry temptations. I poured mighty consolations upon them, I gave them perseverance, I crowned their patience.
I did not choose God out of my own power. This I know — I was called by grace.
Le's note is not theology she learned. It is testimony she lived. The midnight in Lubbock. The hospital. Father Joe James at the darkest hour. Le did not choose that moment. She was found in it. The grace came before the choosing. The calling came before the response.
Kempis says: they did not choose Me. I called them by My grace, drew them by My mercy. Every word is Le's story — called, drawn, led, through temptation after temptation, and here. Reading Kempis on day forty-two. Because He called first.
I gave them perseverance, I crowned their patience. Even the faithfulness of forty-two mornings — that is His gift, not her effort.
"They love Me above themselves. For being caught up above themselves, and drawn beyond self-love, they go all straightforward to the love of Me, and they rest in Me in perfect enjoyment.
Being full of Eternal Truth, they burn with the fire of inextinguishable charity.
"All the Saints, the higher they are exalted in glory, the humbler are they in themselves. And so you have it written that they cast their crowns before God and fell on their faces before the Lamb.
Caught up above themselves, drawn beyond self-love. The journey of forty-two days. The self-love that was the nowhere road. The selfish love that was the poison. And now — drawn beyond it. Not by effort. By being drawn.
Revelation 4:10 — they cast their crowns before God. The highest saints throw their crowns down. The crown was never theirs. The patience was His gift. The perseverance was His gift. The humbler they are, the nearer they are.
"It is a great thing to be even the least in Heaven, where all are great, because all shall be called, and shall be, the sons of God.
Except you be converted and become as little children, you shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. But whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same shall be greatest.
Rejoice you humble, and exult you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God, if only you walk in the truth.
God loves me and that makes me great before Him.
Le's closing note holds the whole passage and the whole journal in one sentence: God loves me and that makes me great before Him. Not great by achievement. Not great by holiness. Not great by forty-two days of Kempis. Great because He loves. The greatness is not in Le. It is in the love that chose her.
The child does not dispute the judgments. The child does not rank the saints. The child does not ask who is greatest. The child simply comes. And the coming — humble, small, without merit — is what makes the child greatest.
Rejoice you humble. Exult you poor. Yours is the kingdom — if only you walk in the truth. The humble pilgrim who walks in the truth. Whose kingdom is not in the apartment or in Brittany. Whose kingdom is His.
"I did not choose God out of my own power. I was called by grace. God loves me — and that makes me great before Him."
Le's Heart · Caldas da Rainha · Forty-two days with Kempis · Called, not choosingThe Hidden Judgments
Do not dispute — worship. Just art You, O Lord. The judgments are incomprehensible not because God hides them, but because we are too small to hold them.
Called by Grace
They did not choose Me. I called them. The midnight in Lubbock. Father Joe James. She did not choose the moment. She was found in it.
The Crown Cast Down
The highest saints throw their crowns before God. The crown was never theirs. The humbler they are, the nearer they are.
Great Because He Loves
Not great by achievement. Great because He loves. The child simply comes. The coming is what makes the child greatest.